The Official Chick Code, which begins with
1) Chicks before dicks. The bond between two women is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman because, on average, women are more willing and able to commit than men. Unfortunate for our love lives, but true.
is a clear response to the Bro Code, but has 50 more articles. Ah, women. They never rest.
Stay tuned for the Man Code (the older, more mature version of the Bro Code). Comin’ right up!
I think many of us have heard of the “Bro Code” by now. If not, do brush up on the 89 articles of the rule book. Or you can simply have the first 14 articles recited to you in true dramatic fashion here by Neil Patrick Harris and Matt Kuhn, two actors from the CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother. (Funny quote below:)
A bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason. No. Not even that reason. Note: If you are a woman listening to this, first, let me apologize it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Secondly, I urge you to take the Bro Code for what it is: a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets. (Dry, nervous laughter) Clearly no real person could realistically believe or adhere to the vulgar rule contained within. Those boots are adorable, B T Dub. Pssst. Hey guys, ignore what I said. The Bro Code is definitely not a piece of fiction. . .”
I giggled quite a bit listening to this video and you probably will too.
The positive thing about stereotypes is that they show us how far or near our thoughts and beliefs lie in relation to them. If our convictions match the gender cliche, we feel soothed and more secure in our beliefs. And if we viscerally sense our opposition to the stereotype, then we feel somewhat enraged, but simultaneously more empowered and secure in our contrary views.
Everyone wins. Bros and hos.
We are all Will, even if we don’t care to admit it too often. We are wandering blindly in an effort to grasp what great purpose might lead us forward into becoming men, husbands, fathers, mentors, or in our deepest dreams, heroes. We, cocky in an effort to hide our uncertainty, waiting for someone to pull us aside and whisper in our ear, “you passed, you’re a man now.” – Chris Cantoni, “Who We Choose To Be”
Not that I need to make any further comment on this than what has already taken over the internet, but seriously. How many excuses does Chris Brown get? And as a bigger question, how do men think that there’s somehow a 2 year statute of limitations on talking about extremely messed up assault? No one’s past it dude, least of all, you. Keli Goff does a great job talking about Chris Brown’s non-apology at HuffPo, and in case you weren’t aware of what went down, Chris Brown had a meltdown after appearing on Good Morning America.
Tony Porter discusses the indoctrination of men and boys to “act like a man” leading to possible abuse and mistreatment of women and each other. By breaking out of the “man box”, he believes men are able to have more beneficial relationships with the opposite sex and one another.
While a lot of the news makes my blood boil, certain stories make my head explode. Today’s NYTimes coverage of a sexual assault case regarding an 11 year old girl in Cleveland, Texas would fall into the latter category.
Eighteen men and boys ranging in age from middle-schoolers to 27 year old adult men have been arrested in connection with this case, where the girl was repeatedly assaulted in an abandoned trailer. Videos were recorded on cellphones. Mob mentality must have reigned. What the article fails to do, however, is ask anything of the men who are accused of committing these acts. Instead, the Times runs quotes about how these men will “have to live with this for the rest of their lives” and others that ask questions such as “Where was her mother?”
Where was her mother? Where were the parents of these boys and men? While victim-blaming is unfortunately common, it’s grating to see it perpetuated by an institution like the Times. I hate to say I expect better, because it never happens, but I do. These men are not “victims” in the way the anonymous girl is and they shouldn’t be pitied as such. Jamelle Bouie at the American Prospect elaborates on this kind of treatment of sexual assault.